I have to send a great big THANK YOU to my mother-in-law for coming and helping us the first few days we were home. Shari - you are absolutely amazing, always taking Eli and playing with him and helping him. The first full day we were home I don't think Morgan or I did anything other than sit, eat, and sleep and you took care of everything. We are having a difficult time trying to help Eli find the right level of physical love towards Joshua. He always wants to hold, hug, or kiss him and continually asks for "One More hug/kiss" but there never seems to be an end of the "One More"'s. Eli also wants to be right in on the action. Laying right next to Josh, or trying to have Morgan or I hold both Josh and Eli at the same time. And today I was showing my mom my sweet new nursing apron and Eli climbs onto the couch and puts his head on my lap under the cover as if he were the baby. That was a little weird for me. I am just not sure of where to draw the line of how close, involved, or how much I should explain to Eli and let him watch. I don't want him to feel like I am abandoning him, but I want to keep Josh safe and have a little bit of privacy/modesty.
Any suggestions?
1 comment:
Dearest Melissa,
I think that whatever you can do to include Eli in the new baby experience will help him feel included instead of excluded. You are already doing a lot of good things like asking him to help with putting dirty diapers in the garbage, etc. I used to read to my older children every time I sat down to nurse the baby so that the kiddos would look forward to the nursing time too. Also, it may be helpful to tell Eli: "I need to have you _____. Or Mommy needs you to _____(play with your toys; stack your blocks for me; put this puzzle together for me, etc). And then let him also know the boundaries with nursing and what you are comfortable with. This may help him see that these are your needs and that he is needed, not rejected. I don't know if these suggestions will help as every situation, child is different but I do know that you are one sharp cookie and will figure it out!
Love,
Mama Lasley
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